There is an assumption that we have ingrained into us when it comes to people that we are having sex with. We assume that the “right” and “correct” thing to do, is to like them. I would like to take and discuss this assumption in this article, where we will explore how necessary this actually is, and also cover some of the advantages of not particularly liking this month’s friend with benefits.
Whether we having sex with a long term hook up, a friend with benefit or just someone that we picked up that evening (or even daytime) there is an assumption that we “like” them. I need to qualify this, what I mean by like them, I mean things about them that having little to do with the sexual nature of the relationship. Included in this list are elements such as:
- Their personality
- Their jokes and humour
- Their musical tastes
- Their cooking
- The movies that they like
- Spending time with them doing things other than sex
If you were having a long-term relationship with some that involves co habiting, that involves living together and spending time co existing, then these things are all important things. However, if you are just having sex, how important are these, really? You don’t actually have to eat with them. You don’t have to take them to the cinema, nor do you have to spend enough time with them to laugh at their bad jokes. So what is important.
Do you want to have sex with them?
This is the most important question. If you are sleeping with someone and it is a no strings attached set up, then how much more of them do you have to like past the point of liking them physically? You don’t, and this is the assumption that we all make that is incorrect.
Do you want to do more than have sex with them?
If the answer is yes, then all well and good. Go ahead and do more… but remember that this is optional. You don’t *have* to be hanging out with them for extended periods of time with your clothes on, you are perfectly able to only do it whilst naked!
How do you do this?
Just be honest! There is little else that is as sexy than having someone that wants to sleep with you. That is one of the biggest turn ons that there is! So if you want to just have sex and nothing more, that is perfectly acceptable. My only word of warning – maybe don’t say this explicitly!
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