“What should I take to my 1st Orgy?”
It must be Friday morning in the office again as that was the question I got thrown at me two days ago by one of our accounts payable team. To be honest as I had never attended an orgy myself, I was a bit stumped for an answer. So I did what any responsible writer would do – I went and asked 20 people who I knew had been to an orgy. The answers were (unsurprisingly) surprising.
1. If you have a specific dietary requirement take some of your own food
Most orgies are hosted by someone who is experienced at hosting them, so finding something to eat usually isn’t that difficult. However if you suffer from nut allergies or something equally nasty, remember to take some of your own food. Orgies take a lot of energy and you will get hungry.
2. Wear something different
Yes you will spend most of the orgy naked, but to distinguish yourself from every other man and woman at the orgy it might be worth wearing a Top Hat or a red cape you can tie loosely round your shoulders. This will help a man or woman mentally tick you off his/her list as they’re going round and ensure you get to have sex with everyone if you want to.
3. 1st Positions
If you’re late – and many first timers often are either due to nerves or a complete inability to read a map – don’t make the mistake of diving right in if the orgy has already begun. There’s nothing worse then having a guy or a girl suddenly appear by the side of you when you’re having sex with someone else asking ‘if you can go next?’ According to my research, yes it does happen. Ease your way into the orgy by assuming a starting position at the side. Let people know you’re there by offering them a drink or standing over them with a fan if it gets too hot. It might sound stupid on paper, but it does actually put you in the frame and ensure you’re not forgotten.
4. Crossing Cocks might happen – be ready for it
This is more for the guys. As it’s an orgy there is every chance that you might end up banging dicks with another dude at the orgy if there are threesomes and foursomes going on around you. Don’t freak out. Just deal with it. If you find you’re uncomfortable with the situation then withdraw to a safe distance and chill out for a bit. There are plenty of people to talk to and fuck.
5. Falling in lurve…
This one did actually shock me, but according to US statistics 98% of successful marriages began…when the couple met at an orgy! If that isn’t a sign that we’re all sex mad bunnies then I don’t know what is. Needless to say if you lock eyes with someone at an orgy that makes more then just your cock rise or your inner thighs wet…don’t freak out. You’re at an orgy so there are protocols to be observed. Take your time and if you happen to meet and fuck, make sure you put some extra effort into it. Let that person know that you’re enjoying this more then any other fuck you’ve had that evening.
So there you have it; a beginner’s guide to an orgy. There isn’t much else to say other then play safe, don’t be shy and have fun!
Happy fucking!
Add new comment